Motherhood and Me

I had my little babe just on five months ago. Five whole months of doing this “being a mum” thing. Overall, I think I’m doing okay so far. Some days I’m rocking it, other days I’m a mess. Eva is still living and breathing, she’s putting on weight, she’s sleeping (occasionally) and learning new things, so I guess I’m ticking the main boxes! I always wanted to be a mum, for as long as I can remember. Was it what I thought it would be? Yes, and sometimes, hell no. So, five months into this new gig, and this is what I’ve learnt so far. This is my take on motherhood.

CHANGE & LETTING GO

There is SO much change when you have a new baby. Pretty much every single part of your old life changes one way or another. I struggle with this a little. I’ve changed so much since I had little Eva, for both the good and the bad. Maybe I shouldn’t say ‘bad’, just different. I used to be a highly organised person, always on time, never late, and would use every part of my time wisely. Now, I’m lucky if I get somewhere only fifteen minutes late. And those days where you think you’ve got it all down, will usually end up with a poo explosion or a vomit all over your white shirt. Sometimes I don’t feel like myself anymore as I do things I never would have pre-baby. But I’m learning to embrace the new me and be proud of what I’ve achieved that day, even if it’s just getting the washing out. I’m learning and changing, and hopefully I can reach some happy medium between organised and chaos.

SOME DAYS ARE REALLY SHITTY

The good days are really good, they’re amazing. Those days where your babe is in a good mood, they’re smiling back at you, the sun is shining, lunch is at a café with some friends, the babe naps on schedule and you wonder how you’ll ever go back to work. But the bad days, they can be oh-so-hard. And I’ve come to learn that you just have to go with it and know it’s temporary. It’s okay to have those days some times. Those days you miss your old life where you could eat your lunch in peace, hell, even go to the toilet when you actually need to, where you don’t have a feral baby whinging at you 24/7. Those days where you wonder why the hell you thought having a baby was a good idea. Those days come, but they also go, and then you’ll be back having a good day and your little one will laugh, one of those big massive belly laughs, and that, that is what makes the bad days okay.

BABIES LIKE TO MIX IT UP

I swear, just when you think you’ve got them figured out, they go and change it all up. I’m the kinda gal who likes to know WHY. Why won’t she go to sleep? Why is she so grumpy today? I like to know the answers to things so I can find solutions. I guess it’s a bit of a control thing. But, I’ve learnt that if you keep wondering WHY a baby is doing something, trying to figure it out, you’ll drive yourself mad. Sometimes, you just have to go with, who the hell knows!? They are such random little things.

ALWAYS TAKE EXTRA CLOTHES

Always, always have a change of clothes for not only your bub, but also yourself, I learnt that one the hard way. I thought I was a pretty organised kinda mum and always carried two changes of clothes for Eva in the nappy bag. But on one little old trip to the movies, I discovered I wasn’t as organised and prepared as I thought; cue massive poo explosion all over herself, and my white top. Cue nuding it up in the cinema isle. Cue poo everywhere. Cue unhappy mum. You get the picture. Luckily one of my super awesome mama friends carries a spare change of clothes for herself around. Thank goodness, I didn’t have to continue the day with a poo stained white top.

DO WHATEVER WORKS

Everyone is different, and different things work for different bubs. Having a baby, I’ve found you get so much advice, some of it is super helpful, some not so much. Try out different things and just do whatever works for you and your little one, even if it’s something pre-baby you said you’d never do. This mothering thing is hard work. It’s busy, full on, tiring and never ending. Sometimes you gotta cut yourself some slack and just do whatever is going to work for you in that moment.

The last five months have been a rollercoaster. I’ve laughed harder than I’ve ever laughed, loved harder than I’ve ever loved, and cried more than I’ve ever cried. It’s the hardest, but the best thing I’ve ever done and I wouldn’t change it for the world, well actually less poo explosions and more sleep would be nice, but hey, can’t have everything can you?

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